Archive for Nerdview

Password nerdview

Steve Politzer-Ahles was trying to change his password on the Hong Kong Polytechnic University system, and found himself confronted with this warning:

You may not use the following attribute values for your password:

puAccNetID
puStaffNo
puUserGivenName
puUserSurname

Attribute values? This is classic nerdview.

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Bus sign nerdview in Sydney

It’s good to find a prominently displayed list of local bus routes that you can Find your way consult when you arrive at the train station in a big city that perhaps you do not know.

And Sydney Central station in New South Wales, Australia, has exactly that. There is a big board headed “Find your way” at the station. But let’s take a closer look at it. See if you can spot the nerdview (pointed out to me by Language Log reader Geoff Dawson).

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What’s in the sachet?

At my hotel here in Brno, Czechia, the shampoo comes in small sachets, manufactured in Düsseldorf, labeled with the word denoting the contents in a long list of suitable European Union languages. I can’t tell you which languages they picked, for reasons which will immediately become apparent. Here are the first four:

  1. Shampoo
  2. Shampoo
  3. Shampooing
  4. Shampoo

Just so you’re sure.

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Please read this Language Log product

Hurricane Statement
Issued: 5:25 AM EDT Sep. 5, 2016 – National Weather Service

This product covers southern New England

Northeast wind gusts of 30 to 50 mph expected from 10 am to 8 PM this evening on the South Coast…

Tim Leonard is quite right to point out that when the National Weather Service refers to its storm warning announcement as a “product”, that is nerdview.

It is a product only as viewed from within the staff of the NWS, where they would have no function and no jobs if they did not produce such things. For us out here in the weather, it is not a product, it is a warning.

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Still populating

Adam Rosenthal told me in an email recently: populating

While trying to enter my address into American Airlines’ horribly designed phone app, I was asked to wait, because “States/Provinces are still populating for the first time”.

What the hell was going on? I’m sure you regular readers will be able to guess.

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Shoots flaming balls with reports

From Bill Benzon:

“Flaming balls” and “reports” may very well be the standard technical terminology for the visual and auditory design features of roman candles. None of the rest of the visible text shows signs of translation problems. But still…

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Post Office nerdview (capped)

Postal orders are a way for people in Britain to send money by post without having a checking account, but there is a fee, dependent on the face value of the order. For a postal order with a face value of more than £100 the fee is shown on the Post Office web page as “Capped at £12.50”, which puzzled Matt Keefe. He wrote to me to ask if it was an instance of nerdview. Absolutely; that’s exactly what it is.

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FORM TWO LANES

Driving back from the airport last night in unusually heavy traffic I came to a sign that said “FORM TWO LANES”.

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Start by logging on to this computer

Nerdview enthusiasts: My colleague Mits Ota pointed out to me today that the helpful instructions in a recording studio at the University of Edinburgh, which are presented as the wallpaper screen background on the Macintosh computer through which you control the recording equipment, state that the first thing you have to do to get started is to log on to the Mac, for which you will need to know that the login name to use is ‘studio’ and the password is also ‘studio’. You see why Mits brought the example to my attention?

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Non- … but not … or … except …

From Lane Greene:

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The mysterious Interchange Level

Arriving at the London Underground subway station deep below King’s Cross railway station, the main London terminal for trains to Edinburgh using the East Coast main line. I’m lugging a heavy wheeled bag, and there are flights of ordinary stairs as well as escalators, so I take the passenger elevator upward. Several of us crowd into it with our suitcases. The doors automatically close, and the elevator starts automatically without any button-pressing, having only one direction in which it can travel. As the faint sensation of upward movement ceases, an electronically generated voice intones: “Interchange Level. Doors opening. We all stare at each other, mystified, seeking reassurance in each other’s eyes, and look out as the doors open to see if there are any clues out there. What the hell is the “interchange level”?

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Waste bin misnegation

I saw a sticker on the lid of a pedal-operated hospital waste bin that said this:

THIS SACK HOLDER IS SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO BE FOOT OPERATED ONLY. THE LID MUST NOT BE HAND OPERATED AND PUSHED PAST THE POINT WHERE IT WILL NOT AUTOMATICALLY RETURN TO THE CLOSED POSITION.

Everyone who uses the bin sees this notice; maybe some even read it and try to respect it; but perhaps only Language Log readers will notice that it contains a misnegation — another sign that the number of negations within a sentence that our poor monkey brains can successfully handle averages out at little more than 1.

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Easy-to-use frustration

“Important – Please contact us to provide more information.”

That’s what the letter from Independence Blue Cross said. Dated 7/28/2015, it arrived 8/4/2015, and informed me that I need to “call or respond online within seven business days to ensure that your future claims and those of your family members can be processed in a timely manner.” So today is the deadline.

What do I need to contact them about? “We are required to determine if you or your family members have other health insurance coverage to process your claims.”

OK, fair enough. And they inform me that “You can choose the most convenient way to provide this information to us”. The first option is to “Simply dial 1-866-507-6575 and follow the prompts on our easy-use interactive voice response system”; the second option is “to visit our member website at www.ibxpress.com”.

But it turns out that there are a couple of problems. The first problem is that both methods fail at the first step. And the second problem is that there’s apparently no other way to contact them to “provide more information … to ensure that your future claims and those of your family members can be processed in a timely manner”.

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