Imperial BS flows?

Does the network of journalistic credulousness still follow the connections established during the glory days of the British empire? I'm not sure how else to explain the diffusion pattern of Mark Pagel's little jokes about his estimates of cognate-replacement rates in language change.

In my post a couple of days ago ("Scrabble tips for time travelers"), I linked to a calvalcade of foolishness that included coverage in the Times ("A handy little guide to small talk in the Stone Age"), the BBC ("Oldest English words' identified"), the Guardian ("Word facing extinction: 'Dirty' will be scrubbed from the English dictionary"), and the Daily Mail ("Revealed: The world's oldest words… and the ones that will disappear"). And a Google News search yields a cornucopia of other giddy idiocies in British-empire media.

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The bitches of Hong Kong

The Dutch pilot landed KLM flight 887 at the Hong Kong airport so smoothly that if I had been in a conversation I would not have noticed that there had been a landing. My suitcase made the carousel before I did. The uniformed airport greeter inside the terminal held a card saying "Prof Pullum" — not Pullam or Pullman or Pullen or any of the scores of other spellings I get on my mail labels and invoices and name badges: this seems to be a culture that cares enough to get things right. The greeter took me to my driver. As the sleek black car pulled away the driver said, "Sir, seatbelt please."

"Is it the law?", I asked idly, wondering if seatbelt wearing was legally enforced even for back seat passengers in limousines.

"Half hour," said the driver smartly.

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In memoriam Michael Noonan

Mickey Noonan, of the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee, who died a few days ago, is movingly memorialized by Carol Genetti in a posting originally to the Linguistic Typology mailing list and now available on-line via the Linguist List, here.

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Zhao C: a Man Who Lost His Name

Mark Swofford, Steve Hansen, and Anne Henochowicz have just called my attention to a wonderful post by Joel Martinsen over at Danwei which tells about a man named Zhao C who was informed by the Public Security Bureau of the People's Republic of China that he can no longer call himself "C," something that he has been doing his entire life. Mr. Zhao and his father, a lawyer, brought suit against the Public Security Bureau. Last June, a district court in Yingtan, Jiangxi Province, found in Zhao C's favor, but the Public Security Bureau appealed. As one might have expected, Mr. Zhao was ultimately forced to "voluntarily" change his name.

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Scrabble tips for time travelers?

This morning's BBC's News Hour program featured one of the most densely nonsensical three-minute sequences that I can ever recall having heard from a respectable media outlet:

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Teaching Zombie Rules

In a comment yesterday, Emily asked:

I tutor the SATs, including the writing section, in addition to helping students with other kinds of writing.

What am I supposed to tell my students about zombie rules? The fact is that some misguided teachers and graders may enforce them. (SAT graders not so much, though–-I think I'm close to getting a handle on what those people are looking out for.)

When I was in school I breezed happily by all this nonsense because I had smart teachers and a strong authorial voice. But not all of my students do. So what to say?

Let me start by quoting Rob Balder's PartiallyClips for 2/17/2009, which celebrates all of us who, like Emily, escaped from school with our souls intact:

(Click on the image for a larger version)

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The Hong Kong lectures

Allow me, if you will, to briefly pervert the general functions of Language Log to send a personal message to the Hong Kong readers of Language Log who have been asking me about my upcoming lectures in their city. The answer is, on Monday (2 March 2009) I will be doing two engagements at different universities in the city, back to back. From 2 to 3:30 p.m., a lecture called "English Grammar: The Lost Twentieth Century" at Hong Kong Baptist University, in room RRS905 in the Sir Run Run Shaw Building on the Ho Sin Hang Campus; and then (after a rapid transfer by limousine; I may arrive looking a bit harried) from 5 to 6:30 p.m. a lecture called "Language Studies: Bridging Science and Humanities", in the Inaugural Series for the new Faculty of Humanities at the Hong Kong Polytechnic University, in room N003. Both, I believe, are wide open to the general public with no ticketing.

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Afghanistan and Pakistan

In the sentence of Obama’s speech to congress that starts at 40:12 in the NY Times video-with-transcript, he says “Afghanistan and Pakistan”, and what caught my ear was that he pronounces all three a’s in Afghanistan like the a in cat, and both of the a’s in Pakistan like the a in father.  I know there was a lot of discussion of his pronunciation of Pakistan last October (some on the right accused him of elitism or unamericansim over it, and then there was the usual blog-battle, e.g. here), but it’s just interesting that it doesn’t carry over to Afghanistan, and that in each word all the vowels are identical, showing that he doesn't have a single suffix –stan with fixed pronunciation (nor do most Americans, probably). Now I wonder how he will pronounce all the other Stans in the region. (I think in my own dialect I pronounce Kazakhstan with all three a’s as in father, but Afghanistan the way Obama did. But Pakistan that way too. Presumably depends on how old one was, and in what environment, when one learned them.)

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Adverbial modification at the Supreme Court today

The following is a guest post by Jason Merchant.

The Supreme Court is scheduled today (25 Feb 2009) to hear arguments (Flores-Figueroa v. U.S., No. 08-108) to decide whether Ignacio Flores-Figueroa should have his conviction for aggravated identity theft reversed. The debate centers on the interpretation of a statute, 18 U.S.C. sec. 1028A(a)(1), which states that:

"Whoever … knowingly transfers, possesses, or uses, without lawful authority, a means of identification of another person shall … be sentenced to a term of imprisonment of 2 years."

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The horror of ideograms

Well, I'm as recovered from my cold as I was able to get, and it is time to go. I am setting off for a trip to what everyone (following Europe) calls the Far East. (For Californians it is clearly the far west.) I head first to Hong Kong, for a few days during which I will be giving at least four lectures, and a panel session, and various other meetings (this really is not leisure time). And there is just one thing that really, really scares me about it. Perhaps you can guess.

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Lessons in limb lability

BioMedCentral continues to be a source of found poetry: today's mail alerts me to John J Wiens, "Estimating rates and patterns of morphological evolution from phylogenies: lessons in limb lability from Australian Lerista lizards", continuing the proud tradition of last week's odor plume flux.

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Real BeijingeRs

For a taste of Pekingese colloquial and a slice of traditional life in Beijing, I offer this 4 minutes and 24 seconds rap video entitled "běi jīng tǔ zhù  北京土著  (Beijing Natives)":

Here follow a transcription and translation of the entire song. One thing that will be immediately evident is the fondness of Beijingers for adding final retroflex -r to the end of many words. There seems, however, to be some disagreement among individual speakers on when to -r, as it were, and when not to -r. Our transcription distinguishes three categories of -r: bold for when the singer adds an -r that is not in the original lyrics, italics for when he fails to -r but we think he should, and regular -r when the original lyrics have an -r. Sometimes the -r is subtle and sometimes it is very obvious; given the complexities of the phenomenon, we cannot guarantee that we've recorded all of them to the satisfaction of Pekingese aficionados.

Please also note that some of the tones and occasionally the vowel quality differ from what we would normally expect in Modern Standard Mandarin. The fact that it's a song also means that the contours of the melody sometimes are at odds with the tones.

Finally, the singer uses a few English expressions, so those appear both in the column with the Chinese lyrics and in the column with the translation. And there's at least one Pekingese morpheme (DER) in the lyrics for which there's no known character.

切一片西瓜四五两
qiē yí piànr xīgua sì-wǔ liǎng
Slice me a piece of watermelon, about four or five liangi
真正的薄皮脆沙瓤
zhēnzhèng de bó pí cuì shārángr
Only the truly thin-skin watermelon comes with this crisp and grainy texture
当四合院的茶房飘着茉莉花儿香
dāng sìhéyuànr de cháfáng piāozhe mòlìhuār xiāng
When the scent of jasmine wafts in the tea room of the siheyuanii
夏天的炎热全部被遗忘掉
xiàtiān de yánrè quánbù bèi yíwàng diào
One forgets all the heat of the summer
酌一杯佳酿漂远方
zhuó yì bēi jiāniàng piāo yuǎnfāng
Pour a glass of fine wine as your thoughts wander afar
胡同里酒香醉人肠
hútòngr lǐ jǐuxiāng zuì rén cháng
The senses are drunk with the fragrance of the wine steeped within the hutong alleys
当老城角儿的夕阳回荡拨浪鼓儿响
dāng lǎo chéngjiǎor de xīyáng huídàng bōlànggǔr xiǎng
As the sun sets at the corner of the old city wall that echoes with the beat of the toy rattle-drum
北京的土著有一点点感伤
Běijīng de tǔzhù yǒu yìdiǎndiǎn gǎn-shāng
This native Beijinger feels a little sad
我一个人蹲在墙根儿没人der
wǒ yí gè rénr dūn zài qiánggēnr méi rén der
Squatting alone at the corner of the wall, receiving not even a passing glance
眼睛愣着神儿心中纳着闷儿
yǎnjīng lèngzhe shénr xīnzhōng nàzhe menr
With eyes unseeing and confusion in my heart
怎么今天的我这么没有精气神儿哟
zěnme jīntiān de wǒ zhème méiyǒu jīngqì shénr you
Why do I feel so weary today?
好像写歌词写丢了魂儿哟
hǎoxiàng xiě gēcír xiědiūle húnr you
Feels like I lost my soul while writing my lyrics
大清早路边的馄饨摊儿
dàqīngzǎo lùbiānr de húndùntānr
A wonton stall by the roadside in the early morning
一个板儿农骑着板儿车拉着板儿砖上班儿
yí ge bǎnrnong qízhe bǎnrchē lāzhe bǎnrzhuān shàngbānr
A farmer rides a three-wheeled handcart as he pulls his load of bricks to work
豆腐脑一块钱一碗
dòufùnǎor yí kuài qián yì wǎnr
A bowl of jellied beancurd costs a dollar
风声中飘着京韵大鼓的小段儿
fēngshēng zhōng piāozhe Jīngyùn dàgǔ de xiǎoduànr
The music of a Pekingese big drum storyteller rings in the air
喝一碗豆汁就一个焦圈
hē yì wǎn dòuzhīr jiù yí gè jiāoquānr
Drink a bowl of sour soy juice with a fried ring of doughiii
青花瓷罐滚着麦芽香的油渣
qīnghuār cíguànr gǔnzhe màiyárxiāng de yóuzhār
Dregs of oil scented with malt heave in porcelain jars with floral design
胡同口的小贩串着冰糖葫芦串.
hútòngkǒur de xiǎofànr chuānzhe bīngtáng húlùchùanr
A hawker at the entrance of a hutong alley is stringing candied haws,
旁边的茶馆摆着一张马三立的相片
pángbiānr de cháguǎnr bǎizhe yì zhāng Mǎ Sānlì de xiàngpiānr
There's a photo of Ma Sanliiv displayed at the teahouse nearby
缸比盆深盆比碗深碗比碟子深
gāng bǐ pénr shēn, pénr bǐ wǎnr shēn, wǎnr bǐ diézi shēn
The vats are deeper than the basins, the basins are deeper than the bowls, the bowls are deeper than the plates
Waiting for your consideration Waiting for your consideration
一放好多年它还是这么哏那
yí fàng hǎoduō nián tā háishì zhème gén na
After being left there for so many years, they're still so funny…
北京的土著 pay attention……
Běijīng de tǔzhù
Native Beijingers, pay attention
站累了蹲着蹲累了坐着
zhànlèile dūnzhe, dūnlèile zuòzhe
Squat when you're tired of standing, sit when you're tired from squatting
坐累了躺着躺累了趴着
zuòlèile tǎngzhe, tǎnglèile pāzhe
Lie down when you're tired of sitting, lie prone when you're tired from lying down
趴累了睡着睡不着眯着
pālèile shùizhe, shùibùzháo mīzhe
Sleep when you're tired of lying prone, nap when you're unable to sleep
养一只八哥是倍有面子
yǎng yì zhī bāgēr shì bèir yǒu miànzi
Keeping a myna brings special prestige
做人要厚道要知道礼貌
zuòrén yào hòudào yào zhīdào lǐmào
Be kind and generous and courteous too
见人要问好,千万不要迟到
jiàn rén yào wènhǎo, qiānwàn bú yào chídào
Greet others kindly and never, ever be late
斤斤计较只会自寻烦恼
jīnjīn jìjiào zhǐ huì zìxún fánnǎo
Keeping score only means making trouble for yourself
不如微笑世界无限美好
bùrú wēixiào shìjiè wúxiàn měihǎo
Better to smile and the world turns, infinitely beautiful
公园里老头牵着他的老伴
gōngyuán lǐ lǎotóur qiānzhe tā de lǎobànr
There's an old man in the park, hand in hand with his old wife
七八十岁走起路来还是那么有范
qī-bā shí suì zǒuqǐ lù lái háishì nàme yǒu fànr
About eighty years old and he still looks so suave
含一根冰棍儿穿一件背心
hén yì gēn bīnggùnr chuān yì jiànr bèixīnr
Sucking on a popsicle and wearing a vest
周口店的血统是非常的纯正
Zhōukǒudiàn de xuětǒng shì fēicháng de chúnzhèng
Bloodlines run pure at the home of Peking Manv
就在那右右右右安门的旁边
jiù zài nà Yòu-Yòu-Yòu-Yòu’ānmén de pángbiānr
At the side of the Right-Right-Right-Right Gate of Peace
有一家狗狗狗狗不理的包子
yǒu yì jiā Gǒu-Gǒu-Gǒu-Gǒubùlǐ de bāozir
There's a shop selling Dog-Dog-Dog-Dog Wouldn’t-Noticevi buns
切切切切糕买了半斤
qiē-qiē-qiē-qiēgāo mǎile bàn jīnr
Buy half a jinvii of sliced-sliced-sliced-sliced glutinous cakeviii
逛一个天桥好似神仙
guàng yí ge Tiānqiáo hǎosì shénxiān
Spend a day free from worries at the Heavenly Bridge,ix just like an immortal

Lu Zhao, a true Beijinger of Manchu heritage, and Yilise Lin, a cosmopolitan Singaporean, helped with the transcription and the translation.

i A liǎng is the equivalent of 50 grams.

ii A traditional form of Beijing residential architecture with four buildings surrounding a central courtyard.

iii A jiāoquān 焦圈is a circular fried piece of dough. It is a characteristic snack of Beijing.

iv Ma Sanli (1914-2003) was a famous crosstalk performer born in Beijing.

v Zhōukǒudiàn 周口店 is the place where the bones of Peking Man were discovered.

vi Gǒubùlǐ狗不理 buns are a famous brand of steamed stuffed buns originally from Tianjin, but later marketed throughout China.

vii A jīn is the equivalent of 500 grams.

viii A qiēgāo切糕 is a cake made of glutinous rice and sold in sliced pieces, a famous snack of Beijing.

ix Heavenly Bridge (Tiānqiáo 天桥) was an area of old Beijing where street artists congregated and entertainment could be found. It has now been reopened for tourism.

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Hobgoblins

According to this morning's After Deadline post, that's what Philip B. Corbett at the New York Times calls "rules that aren't", following the lead of Theodore M. Bernstein:

Another pet peeve of some After Deadline commenters is the use of “but” or “and” to begin a sentence — as in the third sentence of the previous section. Obviously, I don’t share their aversion.

It shouldn’t be overdone, but using coordinating conjunctions this way can provide a handy and very efficient transition. “But” is certainly preferable in many cases to the stilted “however,” and “and” is simpler than “in addition” or similar phrases.

I’d put this objection in the category of “Miss Thistlebottom’s hobgoblins.” That’s how the former Times language guru Theodore M. Bernstein described overly fastidious rules and usage myths a grade-school English teacher might invoke to keep her pupils’ prose on a very narrow path. (Familiar examples include “Never split an infinitive” and “Never end a sentence with a preposition.”)

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