Language Log

Headline from the San Francisco Chronicle:

Are some consultants funding their salary increases by tracking things — maybe by tracking *us*? Has something been revealed about a raise awarded to the consultants to "tracking funds", whatever those might be?

Courtesy of Stephen Bullon in East Sussex, here's a headline to test your crash blossom mettle:

Bright sparks weather gala night power cut to party on

Stephen didn't send a scan, and the article doesn't appear (yet?) on the paper's web site, but apparently it was actually printed in the physical version. It took me four or five readings to figure out what (I think) it means.

Paul Sleigh writes about a headline from the Scientific American website:

I actually felt my brain stretching as I read this one: "Doorway to Blame for Room Amnesia".  Is it a report on the opportunity for recrimination for some kind of space-related memory loss?

<doorway to <blame for <room amnesia>>

Or the loss of memory about a wall entrance leading to guilt regarding part of a house?

<<doorway to <blame for room>> amnesia>

I briefly flirted with the idea that someone with the surname Room was suffering brain injury after hitting his head on a lintel:

<doorway to blame for <[Mr or Ms] Room['s] amnesia>>

… but that seemed unlikely.

BBC News is a reliable source for the misleading headlines we know as crash blossoms (e.g., here, here, here). The latest comes to us via a Twitter tip from Ben Lillie, who retweeted Mikko Hypponen's double-take: "What took down the US drone? Iranian TV shows did! Or maybe I'm misreading this." Here's the headline:

Iranian TV shows downed US drone

And here's the full story, in case you're still stumped. [Update: Judging from the comments, it's not much of a stumper.]

Encountering the headline "Whip rules furore claims first victim" on the Guardian's front page, Ian Preston (who has plenty of experience with British Headlinese) confesses to interpretive problems:

At first I thought a government parliamentary official (a "whip") had issued a ruling either regarding a victim of claims about a furore or decreeing that a furore had claimed a victim.  Neither turns out to be the case.  It is a story about horse racing and a controversy regarding rules about (non-metaphorical) whipping has led to a resignation.  I think the problem is that "whip", "rules" and "claims" are all words which could be either nouns or verbs – in fact, it is not until "claims" that you reach a verb here but that's not immediately obvious.

Benjamin Cusack, "Sex Quiz Cricket Ace in Hotel Suicide Leap", The Sun, 11/14/2011.

Gene Buckley was surprised to learn that the U.N. is projecting a grade of A- for Iran's bomb work:

From reader Paul Sleigh, the crash blossom of the week: "Mansell guilty of missing businessman's murder", ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) News, 11/7/2011. Paul offers a lesson in Australian manners:

Obviously, if you tell someone you're going to be attending a businessman's murder, you damn well better be there on time! None of this "I missed my train" rubbish!

Josh Fruhlinger sends along a sublime crash blossom from BBC News: "Dog helps lightning strike Redruth mayor." Requisite screenshot in case it changes:

"Virginia Beach man accused of decapitating son to stay in hospital", (Newport News) Daily Press, 9/26/2011.

Will legendary beings step in where the politicians have failed?

"Missouri: Flood Damage Dwarfs Repair Budget", NYT (AP) 9/15/2011.

Reader AG, who sent in the tip, hopes so. He's been fantasizing about those flood damage dwarfs, toiling with little fiscal hammers and tongs at their forges in the caverns of the Ozarks.

Well, two, anyway. From reader AH, who wrote "Even though I've been following the (deeply disturbing) story, it took me at least three tries before I parsed the headline correctly":

Amount cheerleader who refused to cheer rapist required to pay reduced

And from reader DM:

Snakes in underwear smuggler fined $400

A recent Reuters headline made Jeffrey Kallberg wonder "What is a 'desk hemorrhage' and why would GS want to rate one?":