Language Log

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In the last few days, we've been discussing the notion of "national language" and its relationship to other languages and topolects spoken in China.  Here's a famous 6:47 comic skit filmed in 1980 featuring the late Mǎ Jì 马季 and his straight man, Zhào Yán 赵炎, called "Guǎngdōng huà 广东话" ("Cantonese") (I will describe its contents below):

Comedy duos, like Abbott and Costello, have been quite popular in China for the past century and more.  In Chinese, they are usually referred to as xiàngsheng 相声 ("crosstalk; comic dialog"), which is centered in Beijing, but also is much loved in Tianjin, Nanjing, and elsewhere, particularly in the north.  The Northeastern equivalent of crosstalk is called xiǎopǐn 小品 ("comedic sketch").

Ma begins the skit by saying that when he does crosstalk he speaks Pǔtōnghuà 普通话 (lit., "common speech", i.e., "Mandarin"), which Zhao calls Huáyǔ 华语 (lit., "florescent language", i.e., "Chinese").  Ma immediately follows by repeating the designation Pǔtōnghuà 普通话 (lit., "common speech", i.e., "Mandarin").  He says that we should speak Putonghua, not just in crosstalk, but also in daily life.  Zhao stresses that this is for the purpose of tǒngyī yǔyán 统一语言 ("unification of language").  Ma agrees that this will result in a gòngtóng yǔyán 共同语言 ("common language") and says that we (Chinese people) shouldn't just speak in fāngyán 方言 ("topolects").  When people from different parts of the country speak their own topolects, they can't understand each other, which results in people making fools of themselves.

By this point, Ma is really warming to his topic.  With the help of Zhao, he emphasizes that China is a big country and that it has many topolects and tǔyǔ 土语 ("patois").  Ma says that we shouldn't speak that kind of language because others won't understand.  If we only go several tens of kilometers away, we encounter another topolect that we can't understand.

Ma tells us that his name is Mǎ Jì 马季 (lit., "horse season"), but when he goes to Shanghai, people there pronounce his name as though it sounds like mǔjī 母鸡 ("hen"), and he milks that for all it's worth.  (I won't go into all the silly details [e.g., he can't lay eggs like a hen].)

Then he turns to Guangzhou, where they speak Cantonese.  There they pronounce his name so that the second syllable sounds to him as though it means guǐ 鬼 ("ghost").  In the north he is human, in the south he's a ghost.  So that's a problem with the topolects.

After that, Ma rattles off the numbers from 1-10 in Putonghua / Mandarin.  He shows that there's a difference even between Beijing and Tianjin, which are only a little over a hundred kilometers apart.  The difference is much greater when you get to Shanghai, and when you get to Guangzhou, the numbers sound so different that they make Zhao's head hurt.

Ma repeats that, if you don't understand topolects, it's easy to make a fool of yourself.  As an illustration, from around 3:30 in the video, Ma tells how, once when he and his wife were in Guangzhou, they rode their bicycles to a market to buy a hen.  Since he couldn't speak Cantonese, he was unable to ask where they could park their bikes.  Finally with lots of gesturing, his Cantonese interlocutor comprehends that he wants to know where to park their bikes, whereupon the man says "over there", which sounds to Ma as though he were saying "zài Hǎinán dǎo 在海南岛" ("on Hainan Island") (the Cantonese for "over there" is heard by Ma as something like hai2 ni1dou6 喺呢度, which actually means "over here").  After they get their bikes parked, they go into the market where the wife tries to buy an old hen, but the person working there keeps giving her roosters.  Frustrated at not being able to explain that she wants a hen, not a rooster, she shouts that what she wants is a chicken that is "the same as me".

The skit ends with a rapid stream of Cantonese that only leaves the audience thoroughly confused and convulsed with laughter.

Readings

"'National Language' in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region" (12/14/19)

"Multilingualism in Philadelphia's Chinatown" (12/14/19)

"A Chinese analog to English you know'" (11/22/19)

"'Rondle it!'" (2/25/19)

[Thanks to Diana Shuheng Zhang]

December 16, 2019 @ 1:34 pm · Filed by Victor Mair under Humor, Topolects

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