Sino-Japanese aesthetics and a new mode of translation
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[This is a guest post by Ashley Liu]
The following is a new way to translate classical Chinese poetry into Japanese. Recently, some Chinese shows about premodern China have become popular in Japan. The Chinese songs in the shows–written in classical Chinese poetry style–are translated into Japanese and sung by Japanese singers. I am fascinated by how the translation works. As you can see below, the Japanese version has waka aesthetics but keeps the 7-syllable format of Chinese poetry. The Japanese version seems to reduce the original meaning by a lot, but if you read it carefully, the way it captures the core meaning is ingenious, e.g., 風中憶當初 (remembering the past in the wind) = 時渡る風 (wind that crosses through time / brings back time).
蕭瑟風中憶當初 xiao se feng zhong yi dang chu (7 syllables)
露華濃撥雲見霧 lu hua nong bo yun jian wu (7 syllables)
輕寒雨裏望前路 qing han yu li wang qian lu (7 syllables)
暮色沉不知歸途 mu se chen bu zhi gui tu (7 syllables)
時渡る風 toki wataru kaze (7 syllables)
滲む花の色 nijimu hana no iro (8 syllables)
雨に黄昏 ame ni tasogare (7 syllables)
一人佇む hitori tatazumu (7 syllables) ( 佇 = 久立，等待）
To make the Japanese version fit the 7-syllable format perfectly, I would delete the の in the second line. 花色 (hana iro) works fine without の. So it becomes:
時渡る風 toki wataru kaze (7 syllables)
滲む花色 nijimu hana iro (7 syllables)
雨に黄昏 ame ni tasogare (7 syllables)
一人佇む hitori tatazumu (7 syllables)
The song is from this show.
Now this is a brand new poetic style born from the crossing between the Chinese and Japanese entertainment industries: 七言絕句和歌
As China's entertainment industry captures more audience in Japan, we will see more innovations like this.
Selected readings
- "The esthetics of East Asian writing" (4/7/12)
- "'Between the Eyes and the Ears': SPP turns 300" (7/20/20)
- "The esthetics of handwriting" (5/8/16)
- "Phonaesthetics"
- "Mixed Mandarin-Taiwanese-Japanese orthography" (10/29/21)
77crasps said,
October 29, 2021 @ 2:21 am
It's really entertaining to regard those 28 words as 七言絕句. Or should it be regarded as a blasphemy of classical Chinese poetry, assuming no one in this (academic) world now has any idea of the strict 平仄 requirements for a 七言絕句？
anon said,
October 29, 2021 @ 10:59 am
"To make the Japanese version fit the 7-syllable format perfectly, I would delete the の in the second line. 花色 (hana iro) works fine without の."
It's more classical (and also closer to spoken language) with the の in place. Overlong lines are common in waka, and there are many cases of 花の色 being used in 6 or 8 syllable lines (7 such examples in Kokin Wakashū), for example in the well-known poem by Ono no Komachi (it's even in Ogura Hyakunin Isshu!)
花の色はうつりにけりないたつらにわか身世にふるなかめせしまに
Hana no iro wa
utsurinikeri na
itazura ni
wa ga mi yo ni furu
nagame seshi ma ni
Color of the flower
Has already faded away,
While in idle thoughts
My life passes vainly by,
As I watch the long rains fall.
"Now this is a brand new poetic style born from the crossing between the Chinese and Japanese entertainment industries: 七言絕句和歌"
I have also never heard of this kind of translation: the Japanese seem to prefer Chinese poetry as kanbun, which completely removes any sense of rhythm or meter. But Japanese poems in the 7-7-7-7 meter aren't something completely new: there are lyrics for popular music from the first half of the 20th century which use this form (for example "Yuki no Shingun").
Calvin said,
October 29, 2021 @ 2:42 pm
Regarding the 七言絕句 format considerations: besides 平仄 tones, most (if not all) of the poems I've know are organized by two-two-three word clusters. Couple examples:
王翰《涼州詞》
葡萄 美酒 夜光杯
欲飲 琵琶 馬上催
醉臥 沙場 君莫笑
古來 征戰 幾人回
李白 《清平調 其一》
雲想 衣裳 花想容
春風 拂檻 露華濃
若非 群玉 山頭見
會向 瑤台 月下逢
But the song lyrics here,
蕭瑟 風中 憶當初
露華濃 撥雲 見霧
輕寒 雨裏 望前路
暮色沉 不知 歸途
So the second and fourth lines are the odd ducks and don't sound fluidly when reciting them as a poem.
露華濃 in the song surely originated from《清平調》above, notice their placement in the line — one at the beginning, the other at the end.
Ashley Liu said,
October 29, 2021 @ 7:30 pm
The “oddness” of the poetic formats here is because these are lyrics of pop songs, so the musical rhythm determines the format. The Japanese version needs to mirror the 7-syllable format to fit the music. The song is titled 少年如故, sung by R1SE in Chinese and 立花慎之介&木村良平 in Japanese.
Josh R. said,
October 31, 2021 @ 7:34 pm
anon said,
"It's more classical (and also closer to spoken language) with the の in place."
In addition to what you wrote, while "花色" could conceivably substitute for "花の色" to fit into a 5- or 7-sound line, it is literally the difference between "flower-color" and "the color of flowers". The latter sounds poetic and evocative, while the former is merely a descriptor.
Another consideration might be the "shirabe" (調べ) of the poem, which can be translated as "rhythm", but while looking around online I found a translation I like more: tonal integrity. It's a somewhat nebulous concept, based more on perceived euphony in rhythm and pitch than any hard and fast rules, but in waka it can take precedence over strict adherence to 5 or 7 sounds.