No, no, no; yes, yes, yes
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I have a close friend who is in the habit of saying, "no, no, no; yes, yes, yes", "yes,yes,yes; no, no, no", "yes, no", "no, yes", etc., etc., usually accompanied by various, animated hand and head gestures. There are many fine gradations of the degree to which he agrees or disagrees with you, though normally his pronouncements reflect a combination of agreement and disagreement.
What he means by these locutions depends upon the degree to which he is in agreement with you.
I find this trait of his to be quite natural and endearing.
BTW, this friend is one of the smartest people I have ever known.
I just observed two Chinese men in the Swarthmore COOP engage in this conversation:
A "no, yes; yes, no"
B "yes, no; no, yes"
I also have Chinese friends who are accustomed to pet phrases (kǒutóuchán 口頭禪) such as bùbùbù 不不不 ("no, no, no") and duìduìduì 對對對 ("right, right, right"), repeated any number of times, but seldom in combination or alternatedly.
Selected readings
- "Yeah no" (4/3/08) — must read
- "Yep and nope" (11/11/10)
- "Yes-no questions in mathematics and in Chinese" (2/10/17)
Afterword
I am acquainted with a few people who seem to have an aversion to "yes" (I call this trait "yes aversion" [remember "moist aversion"?]), I know not why, but they will generally only say / write "yeah". They avoid the particle "yes" as much as my wife used to avoid the pronoun "I".
I guess the final "-s" of "yes" requires the expenditure of extra / unnecessary energy, so they just omit it. Or maybe they want to project an aura of nonchalance.
Or maybe "yes" is too straightforwardly affirmative for their taste / character.
Annie Gottlieb said,
February 2, 2025 @ 9:20 am
https://vlipsy.com/vlip/singing-in-the-rain-no-no-no-yes-yes-yes-2DV6vLVK
Michael Carasik said,
February 2, 2025 @ 10:00 am
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/e0785caf-0660-4ebb-8abb-39be36a697bb
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/65230e95-fc19-4e29-822d-0756b9c8e43d
David L said,
February 2, 2025 @ 1:29 pm
Way back in my academic days, I knew someone like that. Any time you suggested something to him, he would put on a frowny face and go "no, no, no, no…" before (sometimes) pausing and saying, "oh, I see what you mean."
"Endearing" is not the word I would use to describe this habit.
David Moser said,
February 2, 2025 @ 11:43 pm
This seems to be quite a common phenomenon. I myself often talk like this. I think it has to do with two reactions at two levels lumped together. Here's a real example:
A: "You don't want to move all the furniture in your apartment by yourself. Let the professionals do it."
B: "No, no, yeah, yeah, I'll definitely get a moving company to do it."
The "no" is in response to "You don't want to move all the furniture yourself" and the "yeah" is "I'll hire a moving company."
This is pretty obvious, but sometimes the "no, no, yeah, yeah" is just a matter of flipping back and forth between agreement with the overall sentiment and agreement with the negative opinion. Example:
A: "This is a bad time to be playing with the stock market."
B: "No, no for sure, yeah, it's a bad time alright."
Now, I wonder if this is common in Chinese? I haven't noticed it. But there different choices for "yes" and "no", so I'm not sure. I think I've heard examples like this:
A: “你最好不要跟那个人合作,他是个骗子。”
B:“对 对 对,不会 不会,他的确是个骗子。”
Interesting little linguistic tidbit to research…
RfP said,
February 3, 2025 @ 1:35 am
I think that “yes” “avoidance” is a matter of register.
“Yes” is formal and “yeah” is informal. This seems to be true in both Standard American English and Standard British English.
So in ordinary (informal) speech, “yes” would normally be used only if needed for emphasis, as in if someone was trying to verify that they had answered in the affirmative.
Not everyone shares this practice, of course, but it seems pretty close to being universal.
Chris Button said,
February 3, 2025 @ 8:01 am
Reminded me of this classic Monty Python moment:
https://youtu.be/zrzMhU_4m-g?t=59
KeithB said,
February 3, 2025 @ 9:32 am
Kind of like the urban legend to get you a visit to the cockpit:
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sky-writing/
poftim said,
February 3, 2025 @ 10:53 am
No one seems to have mentioned Jim in the Vicar of Dibley yet!
Victor Mair said,
February 3, 2025 @ 11:02 am
Tell us, poftim.
Victor Mair said,
February 3, 2025 @ 11:03 am
I seldom, if ever, say "yea(h)" because I would feel that it is disrespectful to the person(s) with whom I am speaking.
Philip Taylor said,
February 3, 2025 @ 12:08 pm
Like Victor, I too avoid saying "yeah" (for me, "yea" is a totally different word, found normally only in "Oh yea, oh yea", as called by a Town Crier), but not (as far as I can tell ) out of respect for my interlocutor — rather, I was taught (over 70 years ago) by my mother "not to speak like a common little guttersnipe", and if ever I were to say "yeah" today I would be flooded with guilt …
Jay Sekora said,
February 3, 2025 @ 5:36 pm
Whereas I feel compelled to speak like a common little guttersnipe for fear of sounding like I’m putting on airs. (I'm guessing I modulate my register a bit based on how my conversation partners are speaking. I definitely _write_ like I'm putting on airs.)
HS said,
February 3, 2025 @ 6:09 pm
"Yeah, nah" is a classic expression in New Zealand. Usually it means "I have heard the question, I acknowledge it, I am considering it – and the answer is no". However its meaning can vary widely depending upon the situation, the intonation, how long the words are drawn out, and how many times they are repeated. And then there is "yep" which is different again. For a bit more explanation see here. Or if you'd like something a bit more academic, see here.
"Yeah" is the normal word for me and "yes" is an emphatic form. "Yeah" is more or less to "yes" as unstressed "the" (pronounced "thuh") is to stressed "the" (pronounced "thee"). The difference between "yeah" and "yes" is absolutely vital in any conversation. If I asked somebody a question and they answered "yes" instead of the normal expected "yeah" I would immediately notice and possibly take remedial action with regards to my questioning and my behaviour. I would assume they were annoyed, angry, or impatient with me.
I am therefore the exact opposite of Professor Mair – I seldom if ever say "yes" because I would feel that it is disrespectful to the person(s) with whom I am speaking.
Victor Mair said,
February 4, 2025 @ 11:44 am
Can you imagine someone saying "yea(h), sir"?
HS said,
February 4, 2025 @ 5:30 pm
Sorry, in my comment above I should have said that I was talking about my use of "yeah" and "yes" in informal conversation. In formal situations I would use "yes". If I was in a job interview, or giving a formal presentation, or being interviewed on TV, or questioned by the police, or replying to my army commander I would unquestionably use "yes" (or "yes, Sir") as the appropriate formal word (not that I've ever been in the army, I'm highly unlikely to ever be interviewed on TV, and hopefully I will never be questioned by the police). My use of "yes" and "yeah" is pretty much like that described by RfP above. In formal registers "yes" is the appropriate formal word. In informal registers such as conversation with friends and family members, "yeah" is the normal word and "yes" is a distinctly marked, emphatic form that carries connotations about the attitude of the person who says it.
In my comment above I probably exaggerated a bit about my reaction if somebody did say "yes" to me in informal conversation. I wouldn't actually immediately assume that they were annoyed, angry or impatient. In practice it would depend upon the situation, what the question was, and who the other person was. Is the other person a friend or a stranger? Are they a fellow New Zealander or a foreigner? It would also depend upon the way in which they said it – was it stressed or unstressed? In practice I would form a subconscious judgement as to whether the other person was using "yes" as a normal natural term for them, or whether they were using it as a more marked, emphatic term. But in my own usage "yeah" (or "yep") is unquestionably the normal term in informal conversation and "yes" is a rare, marked, emphatic form.
John Swindle said,
February 6, 2025 @ 4:18 pm
> bùbùbù 不不不 ("no, no, no") and duìduìduì 對對對 ("right, right, right"), repeated any number of times, but seldom in combination or alternatedly
And always an odd number of times, right? If 不不 were a word, would 不不不 (meaning "not 不不") be búbùbu, búbūbu, or búbūbù?
John Swindle said,
February 6, 2025 @ 4:19 pm
Or, obviously, bùbúbù.
David S said,
February 7, 2025 @ 2:58 pm
Going back a few generations, some lyrics from "Yes, we have no bananas"
There's a fruit store on our street
It's run by a Greek.
And he keeps good things to eat
But you should hear him speak!
When you ask him anything, he never answers "no".
He just "yes"es you to death, and as he takes your dough
He tells you
"Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today.
Philip Taylor said,
February 7, 2025 @ 4:40 pm
My follow-up to David's "Yes, we have no bananas" is more than a little risqué, for which I apologise in advance. An elderly lady asked her fishmonger "Do you have any cod fillets today ?". "No, madam", he replied, "but we have some very nice huss". "OK, in that case I'd like two nice cod fillets", the lady said. "I'm sorry, madam, but as I said earlier we have no cod", the fishmonger replied, "How about a couple of Dover sole ?". "Alright, I'll have cod loin if you don't have any fillets", said the lady. "Madam", the fishmonger replied, "We Have No Cod — NO 'C F O D' 'COD'". "There's no 'F' in 'Cod", observed the lady astutely. "That, madam, is what I am trying to tell you", responded the exasperated fishmonger.