Passed
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There are many euphemisms for saying that someone died, two of the most common being "passed away" and "passed on". Lately, I've been hearing more and more people announce that so-and-so simply "passed". The first few times that I heard it spoken that way, I thought it sounded strange. Now, however, I'm so accustomed to this usage that it almost sounds normal, though I'm still barely to the point of being comfortable in saying it myself.
Substituting "passed" for "passed away" or "passed on" strikes me as being a euphemism for a euphemism.
Selected readings
- "Kim Jong Il: did he 'die' or 'pass away'?" (12/20/11)
- AIO:
Here are some words related to dying:
Synonyms: Perishing, succumbing, departing, expiring, disappearing, ending, fading, passing, deceasing, failing, dropping, kicking the bucket, biting the dust, conking out, consuming, drying up
Other words: Declining, disintegrating, ebbing, fated, final, mortal, sinking, vanishing, withering
Formal words: Fatality, casualty
Moribund: A word that means dying or in the process of passing from life
Different words can evoke different reactions in people. For example, "at peace" might sound more comforting than "He is dead". End of life workers should be aware that others may take offense at the choice of words.
In a western context, some people habitually say "passed away" or "passed" and are reluctant to say "died".
Robot Therapist said,
October 14, 2024 @ 6:33 am
It means either they died, or they got through their exams.
Dave said,
October 14, 2024 @ 6:33 am
If we think "bear", etc. are euphemisms, could it be we don't even know how many times the euphemism treadmill rolled around before we wound up with the current substitutions for *h₂ŕ̥tḱos ?
Philip Taylor said,
October 14, 2024 @ 6:49 am
"Passed" still grates in my ears, but to add to the alternatives above I would add "shuffled off this mortal coil" and "gone for a Burton" .
AntC said,
October 14, 2024 @ 6:57 am
"shuffled off this mortal coil"
I have heard only in the Dead Parrot sketch or parodies/derivatives thereof.
And that sketch exercises many such euphemisms. (Gone to meet their maker; joined the choir invisible; …)
Has anybody heard "mortal coil" used non-tongue-in-cheek?
John from Cincinnati said,
October 14, 2024 @ 7:01 am
@AntC – Um, Hamlet's "To be, or not to be" soliloquy?
JimG said,
October 14, 2024 @ 7:02 am
More euphemisms:
"bought the farm"
military pilots sometimes refer to flying west into the sunset
toes-up or tits-up =dead, may also refer to machinery
Victor Mair said,
October 14, 2024 @ 7:06 am
@AntC
"Has anybody heard 'mortal coil' used non-tongue-in-cheek?"
Yes, with great pomposity.
@Philip Taylor
"'gone for a Burton'"
That's especially intriguing and synchronous in liight of Mark Liberman's immediately subsequent post.
Ebenezer Scrooge said,
October 14, 2024 @ 7:31 am
I often hear "checked out" as a euphemism for death.
Benjamin E. Orsatti said,
October 14, 2024 @ 8:03 am
Dave,
Tell me more about pre-"*h₂ŕ̥tḱos" words for "bear" — (asking for an ancestor).
— Binyamin *H₂ŕ̥tḱotti
George Lane said,
October 14, 2024 @ 8:32 am
In my experience, growing up in the southern US (Georgia), the use of "passed" (as opposed to "passed away" or "passed on") is strongly associated with Black English. Perhaps we're seeing another example of a phrase or usage from Black English becoming more mainstream, as "cool" and "dis" did.
Benjamin E. Orsatti said,
October 14, 2024 @ 8:50 am
What would an Atheist say instead of "passed"? — "achieved thermal equilibrium"; "lost the battle with entropy"?
Mark P said,
October 14, 2024 @ 9:20 am
I ran across a different term that I have never heard before. This is from a physician in New Zealand:
“Just a tiny proportion of people currently make it to 100. Under 1%. And even if they’re relatively hale and hearty at that point (perhaps a third are fairly feisty), pretty much all of them kark it by 110.”
AntC said,
October 14, 2024 @ 10:08 am
@Benjamin What would an Atheist say instead of "passed"?
Why wouldn't they say "passed", possibly +preposition? Passed on/away from this mortal coil makes no ontological/metaphysical claim about passed to anywhere in particular.
And @John pretty clearly I meant used since Monty Python (if not before) poked fun at the phrase (and it's pomposity/pessimism/presumptuousness).
AntC said,
October 14, 2024 @ 10:15 am
kark it as in carcass; and used of not necessarily sentient beings. Entirely unremarkable Brit slang.
Tim Rowe said,
October 14, 2024 @ 10:51 am
'Has anybody heard "mortal coil" used non-tongue-in-cheek?'
Yes, in a production of "Hamlet".
Tim said,
October 14, 2024 @ 10:56 am
In the UK, 'passed' has the smell of an American import to me. And I also notice that you have omitted 'fallen off the perch' from your list. It's origin may be the 'parrot sketch', although I don't think that these words were actually spoken.
Mark P said,
October 14, 2024 @ 11:39 am
This is what the Australian National University School of Literature, Languages and Linguistics:
To die; to break down; to fail. Also spelt kark, and often taking the form cark it. The word is probably a figurative use of an earlier Australian sense of cark meaning 'the caw of a crow', which is imitative. First recorded in the 1970s.
Joe said,
October 14, 2024 @ 11:52 am
To me "passed away/on" sounds formal and professional, maybe to the point of being patronizing, like HR-speak. "Passed" sounds more colloquial to me, still a euphemism but not one that draws attention or sounds excessive. "I think it was three years ago, after Grandma passed but before Stacy and Steve got married." Something you can casually say in passing.
Also to Benjamin's question "What would an Atheist say instead of 'passed'?" I think an atheist would say "died". The person didn't move (pass) to a different place, physically or otherwise, and continue the next phase of existence there. They stopped existing.
Don Keyser said,
October 14, 2024 @ 11:59 am
Victor:
For whatever it's worth (not much), I first noted about 15-20 years ago the use of "passed" rather than "passed on" or "passed away" by African American friends. It seemed to be the way the event was referred to in churches within the African American community. (I say "seemed" because those I heard saying "passed" were regular church-goers and proud of their ability to quote scripture at length.).
Don
Brian said,
October 14, 2024 @ 12:15 pm
An atheist would say "passed", or "passed on", or whatever the current context deems polite. Being an atheist does not mean you lose the ability to respect other people's sensibilities.
If you know you're talking to other people who are not made uneasy by reminders of death, then an atheist might be more likely to say "died". (But of course even other atheists can be unready for such in casual conversation. Disbelief in gods does not automatically confer apathy to memento mori.)
Mark Metcalf said,
October 14, 2024 @ 12:46 pm
Another express that is a bit less honoring is "assumed room temperature" – not to be confused with someone who has a "room temperature IQ".
And I've always admired the Chinese "不在了" – bùzàile – roughly "no longer here" – short, sweet, and accurate.
David Marjanović said,
October 14, 2024 @ 1:56 pm
That's a dysphemism.
DaveK said,
October 14, 2024 @ 3:16 pm
The most common slang term I’ve heard is “cash in your chips” or just “cash in”. Nice to think that you don’t leave the great Game of Life flat broke.
Interesting that the three things that seem to have generated the most slang terms in English are death, sex and drunkenness. Is this common across cultures?
Victor Mair said,
October 14, 2024 @ 3:37 pm
"Dead Parrot Sketch": http://montypython.50webs.com/scripts/Series_1/53.htm
'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
Xtifr said,
October 14, 2024 @ 4:02 pm
Maybe it's the recency illusion, but "passed" with no preposition seems like something I've been hearing for decades! And I happened to be chatting with my brother, so I asked him, and he also said decades. Maybe it's a west coast (US) thing?
It's funny how some euphemisms for death can be shortened, while others can't. "Bought the farm" routinely becomes "bought it", but "pushing up the daisies" is never "pushing them". Jury's still out on "pining (for the fjords)". :)
In my family, it became a running joke to say that someone "was alive" (with a heavy emphasis on the "was") after a conversation like this:
"Did you hear that so-and-so died?"
"What, just now? I thought they died years ago!"
"Ah, so the news item for you is that so-and-so was alive."
Xtifr said,
October 14, 2024 @ 4:21 pm
Sorry, of course I mean the inverse recency illusion, where you imagine something is older than it is simply because you've grown accustomed to it. (Does this have another name?)
Chips Mackinolty said,
October 14, 2024 @ 4:49 pm
Common usage with Aboriginal Australians in the north is "finished" or "finished up".
Vulcan with a Mullet said,
October 14, 2024 @ 5:53 pm
I've been hearing "passed" for much of my life it seems (no data to back that up, just my personal memories), maybe it is a southern USA thing. (I am 55, lived in Atlanta GA my whole life). Maybe this is inverse recency effect as Xtiftr mentioned., I know enough not to trust my intuitions linguistically. :D
Somehow I associate it with older speakers, specifically older women, and more "traditional" personalities (i.e. your older aunts and relatives at a genteel funeral)
David L said,
October 14, 2024 @ 7:07 pm
As JimG says above, you sometimes hear the expression "bought the farm," and I wonder if that's the same farm in upstate NY where elderly dogs and cats go.
Anthea Fleming said,
October 15, 2024 @ 1:45 am
I always just say 'died' but was recently told that that was very offensive when applied to humans. I refuse to change.
Andreas Johansson said,
October 15, 2024 @ 4:30 am
Tangential, regarding "room temperature IQ", I've idly wondered if it was coined by someone thinking in Celsius or Fahrenheit.
(Pretty clearly it wasn't in Kelvins.)
N. N. said,
October 15, 2024 @ 4:31 am
In the anthology "The Voice of the Blues: Classic Interviews from Living Blues Magazine" (Routledge, 2002), "passed" in this sense is used for a total of 11 times by four of the interviewees, blues musicians all born in Mississippi between 1910 and 1934. So it's definitely not recent in AAVE.
Graeme said,
October 15, 2024 @ 5:41 am
The US: where language swings euphemistically…
I've heard this a few times in Australia lately.
I like to imagine it is short for "passed the point of no return".
Laura said,
October 15, 2024 @ 6:40 am
I can provide another data point from the American South, in this case southeastern Virginia, of hearing "passed" used regularly for over 50 years.
katarina said,
October 15, 2024 @ 11:26 am
“Kicked the bucket" has an equivalent in Chinese :
"Lifted up the pigtail" or "had the pigtail lifted" (qiao bian zi 翹辮子）。
I knew "lifted the pigtail" was an irreverent way of saying "died" but never knew why. This conversation made me look it up in Baidu online.
Baidu says:
When the Manchus conquered China they passed an ordinance requiring all males to shave their heads. (I think this meant shaving the top of the head but keeping a pigtail at the back.) Otherwise it meant execution. Thus the saying "keep hair not keep head, keep head not keep hair" (liu fa bu liu tou, liu tou bu liu fa 留发不留头，留头不留发).
Thus the male population came to wear pigtails. Then when a criminal was being executed the executioner had to first lift up the pigtail to chop off the head.
Hence "lift the pigtail" (qiao bian zi 翹辮子）means "die".
Now I hope someone will explain the origin of "kick the bucket".
J.W. Brewer said,
October 15, 2024 @ 11:38 am
I'm not sure I would have identified this usage of "passed" as particularly common among black AmEng speakers but now that others have made that point that does sort of fit with my impressions I had not consciously reflected on. Although of course to harmonize that with some other comments plenty of phrases that are just regional (w/ no racial skew in use) in the Southern U.S. are more distinctively black in the Northern U.S. due to migration patterns and their effect on language varieties.
Rodger C said,
October 15, 2024 @ 11:44 am
I've heard that "kicked the bucket" is a reference to suicide by hanging, while "bought the farm" means that one's death benefits pay off the mortgage.
J.W. Brewer said,
October 15, 2024 @ 11:50 am
Note the interesting parenthetical note in wiktionary's sense 2 of "pass away": "(archaic, literary) To disappear; to cease to be; to be no more." The specific euphemism-for-death extension of it may have inhibited ongoing use of the broader and more traditional sense.
Some uses in the King James Version overlap, e.g. from Ecclesiastes: "One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever."
But other KJV uses are clearly NOT references to death, e.g. from Revelation: "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."
Karl Weber said,
October 15, 2024 @ 1:57 pm
Like other commenters, I feel I've been hearing "He passed" without a preposition, here and there, for quite a while–though I agree that it still sounds a little more odd than "passed away" or "passed on." By contrast, the noun "passing" meaning "death" strikes me as more idiomatic and unremarkable: "His passing at the age of 28 left quite a gap in the community…"
Jonathan Smith said,
October 15, 2024 @ 2:49 pm
FWIW "he/she past" now also common in writing… "reanalysis"? "typo"? IDK
DaveK said,
October 15, 2024 @ 3:55 pm
The most plausible explanation for “kick the bucket” I’ve heard is that it comes from the days when cows were milked by hand. If a cow got restive and kicked over the milking bucket, obviously all the milk was lost (and no use crying over it either). Gradually it evolved to mean a situation where everything was ruined or ended, and then restricted to death.
/df said,
October 15, 2024 @ 7:54 pm
Even horses can kick the bucket, as recounted in the Pioneers' 1969 reggae hit "'Long Shot' Kick De Bucket". The lyrics lament the death of ironically named Jamaican star nag Long Shot in the final straight and the fans' consequent betting losses.
Di Lardner said,
October 16, 2024 @ 10:55 am
What would the atheist say? "Paid the carbon tax" perhaps.
AnthonyB said,
October 16, 2024 @ 9:02 pm
I've read that the classical phrase was " joined the majority."
katarina said,
October 17, 2024 @ 3:23 pm
Here's something on "kick the bucket" (online):
"The wooden frame used to hang animals by their feet for slaughter was called a bucket. As the animals struggled and spasmed they were said to 'kick the bucket'. The term gained broader definition when it was defined in Grose's 1785 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue."
Even more grisly than "lift the pigtail". Actually it wasn't a "pigtail" at all.
From photographs, it was usually a long thick heavy braid.