Genderfae
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According to Christina Gleason, "What Does It Mean to Be Fae as a Gender?":
While some people who are fae use fae/faer as their pronouns, I prefer to keep the she/her pronouns I’ve gone by my whole life. It gives me the joke that my pronouns are sidhe/her, where sidhe (pronounced she) is the Irish word for the fairy folk. As genealogy is one of my special interests, I know I have Irish heritage, so I’m not appropriating lore that isn’t a part of my family history.
As you probably know, sidhe is also part of the etymology of banshee.
The OED gives
Etymology: A phonetic spelling of Irish bean sídhe < Old Irish ben síde ‘female, or woman, of the fairies or elves.’
Wiktionary says that bean sídhe is obsolete, and gives the etymology for banshee as
From Irish bean sí, from Old Irish ben síde (literally “woman of the fairy mound”).
The spelling sidhe for a pronoun pronounced "she" seems like a better joke than sí, at least for those who are familiar with that obsolete way of spelling the Irish word.
mollymooly said,
December 14, 2021 @ 3:00 pm
The change sidhe to sí came as part of an 1945-58 spelling simplification.
Unrelated to the Irish noun sí/sidhe is the Irish pronoun sí, meaning "she". Being homonymous with the English pronoun is probably a coincidence, though I have read one Irish author suggesting the Irish word influenced the English word's phonetic evolution from Middle English heo.
Michael Hicks said,
December 14, 2021 @ 3:03 pm
It's interesting that the fae pronoun is the most common "noun-self" pronoun, which is a class of neopronouns that are adapted from morphemes as opposed to more popular neopronouns that follow the convention of other pronouns but with different phonemes such as ze/zir or xe/xem (which may merge in the future to become a new widely-adopted pronoun since they're already so similar). While the fae/faer pronoun is a recent invention, the concept of genderfae is not as it originates from the Cercle Hermaphroditos society in 1895.
Chester Draws said,
December 14, 2021 @ 6:03 pm
which may merge in the future to become a new widely-adopted pronoun
The thing about third person pronouns, is that the person suggesting them really doesn't have much say about whether they are used or not. They can suggest, and we are quite capable of ignoring the suggestion, since they mostly will never know.
Given that people sometimes make embarrassing mistakes with he/she, the chances of embarrassment rise exponentially with a multitude of new ones. The barriers to wide adoption are high, to put it mildly. People still struggle to wrap their, sorry zer, heads around "Ms".
I note that the fans of xe/xir etc rarely lumber themselves with awkward first person pronouns. They continue to use I/me, because to do otherwise would cause them, apologies xem, personal difficulty.
AntC said,
December 14, 2021 @ 8:58 pm
Given that people sometimes make embarrassing mistakes with he/she, …
If I'm in a conversational context where I know that'll be an issue (for the listeners, rather than for whoever I'm referring to), I use or in oblique case.
Audrey Tang has been in the news lately. Palki Sharma Upadhyay carefully avoids using a personal pronoun
for a good long time, eventually uses 'her' rather sotto voce.
AntC said,
December 14, 2021 @ 9:02 pm
Ha! Banjaxed by the internet banshees. That should be:
I use glottal-grunt or nasal-grunt in oblique case.
Seth said,
December 14, 2021 @ 9:03 pm
That image is very confusing, as "I'm Fae" reads on initial impression as "My first name is Fae" rather than "My gender is Fae", as "Fae" is a not-uncommon woman's name. And if you don't know the word "sidhe" (which is obscure), it gets even more confusing. Then it seems to be a nerd joke, but she's (sidhe's?) apparently serious.
Somewhere here there's a problem related to the use of language as artistic expression versus as a means of common communication.
Twill said,
December 14, 2021 @ 9:47 pm
The image, punny pronouns, and identification with a mythical creature at first sincerely led me to believe this was in jest, as in the apache/attack helicopter meme. Frankly, I'm not even sure now ("Gender euphoria"? A gender that is just "I'm definitely a woman and not a man, but sometimes I'm not consciously feminine"? How is that not of the "if your son picks up a barbie doll, he's gay" school of gender roles? The author admits to remaining skeptical of "autigender", surely sensible, yet I lend even less credence to supernatural blood coursing through the author's veins). Either way, I find it incredibly difficult to believe that referrent-chosen 3rd-person neopronouns will survive beyond the near future. Our society barely sees the need for women to exist as a distinct gender, let alone boutique identities that would seem to boil down to mild, vague alienation from a gender without actually rejecting it.
Terry K. said,
December 15, 2021 @ 12:13 am
They continue to use I/me, because to do otherwise would cause them, apologies xem, personal difficulty.
They continue to use I/me because it's ungendered and doesn't cause difficulty for those who don't fit in ordinary gender boxes.
Also, people have social circles. It would not be odd for someone who prefers one of these neo-pronouns be used for them to know others who also have such a preference.
Terry K. said,
December 15, 2021 @ 12:15 am
Oops, error in my HTML closing italics (failing to) after the first paragraph.
Bob Ladd said,
December 15, 2021 @ 3:59 am
Living in Scotland, when I saw the little logo beginning "I'm fae…", I was expecting a place name underneath. Google "Ah'm fae" and you will get pages of hits in Scots. "Ah'm no fae Glasgow" or "There's buggar aw anyboady fae where ah'm fae kin dae aboot it, either."
Jerry Friedman said,
December 15, 2021 @ 7:57 am
If Christina Gleason needs Irish ancestry to license her pun on "sidhe", I just hope she has French or ancient Roman ancestry to license her use of "fae". As far as I can tell, it's an alternate spelling of "fay", a fairy—a spelling that's older or cooler or suggested by "Faerie". Etymonline says "fay" is 'late 14c., from Old French fae (12c., Modern French fée), from Vulgar Latin *fata "goddess of fate," fem. singular of Latin fata (neuter plural), literally "the Fates" (see fate (n.)).'
I get the impression this spelling, with the meaning "all fairy-like creatures", was popularized by the Dungeons and Dragons people starting in some decade like the '90s. There may have been some contribution from the use of "fae" by C. S. Friedman (no relation that I know of) in her Coldfire Trilogy (1991–1995) for a chthonic energy that makes magic possible on the planet Erna. Also from "fey" in The Iron Dragon's Daughter (1993), and other books by Michael Swanwick, with a similar meaning of elves, pooks, etc., although "fey" meaning "doomed to die, acting strangely, whimsical or affected" isn't etymologically related.
Should I also hope Christina Gleason has Jewish or Greek ancestry or both so she can continue using the name "Christina", which comes from a Greek word for a Jewish concept? Maybe she should check… oops, I may not have any Persian ancestry.
J.W. Brewer said,
December 15, 2021 @ 8:12 am
Am I the only one who finds it odd to tout "fae" as connoting something about gender identity w/o noting the well-established (but maybe now sliding into archaic-sounding?) use of "fairy" as a slur for (quoting wiktionary) "male homosexual, especially one who is effeminate" and the (likely related?) use of the sense of "fey" that wiktionary labels "overrefined, affected" as often shading in practice into (when predicated of a man) "unmanly, and quite possibly homosexual"?
Philip Taylor said,
December 15, 2021 @ 9:25 am
Bob Ladd — do you have any idea when "fae" entered the Scottish language with the meaning "from" ? I know it only as "frae", as in (e.g.,)
but on checking on the web I see that modern authors seem to prefer "fae" (e.g., "Response fae the lassies").
Rodger C said,
December 15, 2021 @ 10:47 am
As everybody knows, the only proper use of "fey" is to mean "doomed to death."
Alexander Browne said,
December 15, 2021 @ 1:29 pm
The OED's first quotation with Scots "Fae" is from 1768.
Bob Ladd said,
December 15, 2021 @ 5:00 pm
@Philip Taylor, Alexander Browne:
The Concise Scots Dictionary (Aberdeen Univ. Press, 1985) lists fae under the headword frae, but says that the latter is "now chiefly literary". It dates fae from the late 18th c. (in keeping with the OED's citation) and says it is originally northern usage.
Benjamin Orsatti said,
December 16, 2021 @ 8:07 am
Now that we've started identifying with the fair folk, mayble Tuatha De Dannan will come up from the earth to put an end to all this "pronoun" silliness.
Jeffrey Scott Nuttall said,
December 16, 2021 @ 8:13 am
I get the impression this spelling, with the meaning "all fairy-like creatures", was popularized by the Dungeons and Dragons people starting in some decade like the '90s.
Dungeons & Dragons is responsible for standardizing a lot of now common fantasy tropes, but that's not one of them. Early editions did have some individual fairy creatures, but didn't really use any collective term for them, and when the game's third edition (which came out in 2000) did formalize creature types and needed a general name for creatures of fairy origin, it used the spelling "fey", which has persisted in the editions since. There have been enough Dungeons & Dragons products put out with variable attempts at consistency that it's not at all unlikely that the word "fae" appeared somewhere in one of them, but it certainly was never common in Dungeons & Dragons; the origins of its rise in popularity lie elsewhere.
Jerry Friedman said,
December 16, 2021 @ 9:10 am
Thanks for the correction, Jeffrey Scott Nuttall.
JoshR. said,
December 16, 2021 @ 8:05 pm
I suspect Jerry Friedman is near the mark, even if he hasn't hit the bullseye. While "fae" has never been a Dungeons & Dragons thing, it was used in the popular Changeling role-playing game put out by White Wolf Studios. This combined with a number of fantasy novels in the 1990s seemed to cement the "fae" spelling among fantasy enthusiasts.
Per Rodger C's point, in Tolkien's writings, especially Lord of the Rings, you can find little nuggets of Tolkien's philological ideas.
For example, there is a famous aphorism in Beowulf: Wyrd oft nereð // unfaegene eorl, /þonne his ellen deah. The typical translation goes "Fate oft saves the undoomed (=unfey) man, when his courage holds." But this is a somewhat tautological statement, if "fey" is taken to mean "doomed to die."
So in Lord of the Rings, Tolkien proffers his interpretation of the word by using "fey" to mean something like having a despairing acceptance of death. Pippin tells another that the suicidal Denethor is "fey and dangerous." When Eomer finds his sister apparently dead on the battlefield, it says, "A fey mood took him." When Theoden makes his final charge, it says, "Fey he seemed, or the battle-fury of his fathers ran like new fire in his veins."
As near as I can tell, this meaning, or at least this nuance, is unique to Tolkien (and perhaps to those who might write in imitation of him).
Seth said,
December 17, 2021 @ 3:29 am
A quick look at Google Books books for the 21st century time period shows that the word "Fae" seems to have been popularized recently at least in part via the "fantasy romance" genre (likely not something common to the demographic posting here …). The Fair Folk have apparently been getting some very good press over the last decade or so. That potentially explains something which bothered me about the original post, why the writer seemed so positively inclined towards (insert tongue firmly in cheek) a bunch of abusive lily-white xenophobic racists (speciests?) who have a government of absolute monarchy.
Jessica said,
December 17, 2021 @ 2:29 pm
To Seth’s point, as a consumer of the occasional trashy fantasy/romance novel between semesters, I think that the Fair Folk in contemporary novels still meet all the stereotypes Seth listed. It’s just that the main fae characters are a cliche good fairy with a heart of gold and a soft spot for mortals. Inevitably they save the mortal main character from a fate worse than death, fall in love, resolve the question of differing lifespans in one way or another, then live happily forever after. It’s not high literature by any means, but it makes for delightful fluff to read at the beach or on a car trip! But also not exactly the sort of world one would want to actually live in as a mere mortal.
Jerry Friedman said,
December 17, 2021 @ 4:19 pm
Jessica: I suspect a lot of those fantasy romances should footnote War for the Oaks (1987), by Emma Bull.
JoshR.: Thanks for the additional information.
Here's the OED on the modern extended sense of "fey". You can see that the connection to fairies is at least 100 years old, much older than I realized. There's nothing for the sense between "soon to die" and "crazy" that JoshR. ascribes to Tolkien.
5. Disordered in mind like one about to die; possessing or displaying magical, fairylike, or unearthly qualities. Now frequently used ironically, in sense ‘affected, whimsy’. [I assume that should be "whimsical".]
1823 J. Galt Entail I. viii. 62 Surely the man's fey about his entails and his properties.
1856 J. Ballantine Poems 207 Wad ye rax his craig, When our daughter is fey for a man?
1921 ‘M. Corelli’ Secret Power iii. 34 ‘But I was “fey” from my birth—.’ ‘What is fey?’
interrupted Miss Herbert… ‘It's just everything that everybody else is not’—Morgana replied—“Fey” people are magic people; they see what no one else sees,—they hear voices that no one else hears—voices that whisper secrets and tell of wonders as yet undiscovered.’
1930 ‘E. Queen’ French Powder Myst. xxx. 251 ‘Have you gone fey?’ gasped the Inspector. ‘Like a fox,’ said Ellery.
1930 J. Douglas Down Shoe Lane 289 They become fey and fond.
1937 H. G. Wells Star Begotten iii. 66 Are there people—what shall I call them?—fey people about? People as sane as you and I and yet strange?
1938 H. G. Wells Apropos of Dolores vi. 293 One of these toy trains of theirs seemed to come out of the ground beside us… They [sc. the passengers] seemed indeed to be inhabitants of some different, some elfin world… She was all agog to see that fey train once more.
1952 C. Day Lewis tr. Virgil Aeneid vi. 119 Her fey heart swelled in ecstasy.
1955 E. Coxhead Figure in Mist ii. 63 A gaze that was not at all fey, but..remarkably shrewd.
1959 Listener 4 June 998/1 Sensible elder daughter, and fey younger daughter.
1969 D. Burnham Through Dooms of Love 219 Now your wife would be perfect for the part; she's got that fey look as though she's had breakfast with a leprechaun.
Jessica said,
December 17, 2021 @ 6:31 pm
Thanks for the book recommendation, Jerry! I’m excited!
Jerry Friedman said,
December 17, 2021 @ 10:50 pm
This is Late20thCenturyFantasyRecommendations Log, right? You might also like Tam Lin, by Pamela Dean, though it's farther from what you describe. Still farther: Tea with the Black Dragon, with a much older female protagonist, and The Iron Dragon's Daughter, which I mentioned above and is much grimmer. I liked all of these, but I'm not giving any guarantees.
Rodger C said,
December 18, 2021 @ 10:52 am
Speaking of Tolkien and fae, I suppose we all know that in the Book of Lost Tales a "fay," carefully distinguished from an elf, is basically what he'd later call a Maia.
KevinM said,
December 18, 2021 @ 4:39 pm
Not to mention Ode to a Nightingale:
And haply the Queen-Moon is on her throne,
Cluster'd around by all her starry Fays
I read somewhere that Tolkein came by much fairy lore and imagery via Keats and Morris (though of course his reading was much, much deeper than that).
Terpomo said,
December 18, 2021 @ 6:21 pm
Twill, why do you put "gender euphoria" in quotes? It's a term I've heard plenty before.
Philip Taylor said,
December 18, 2021 @ 7:01 pm
Well, "gender euphoria" was certainly unknown to me; and even now I have no idea what it means, so quotes — 'scare' or otherwise — do seem appropriate to me.
Terpomo said,
December 18, 2021 @ 10:44 pm
Well, perhaps it's better known in some LGBT circles but I wouldn't have thought it was an obscure term.
Peter Grubtal said,
December 19, 2021 @ 2:57 am
This policing of quotes is an interesting phenomenon. I've noticed that some doing the policing use italics for exactly the same purpose as the quotes they're objecting to.
I'd never heard of "gender euphoria" either, though I now find information about it on the net. The expression is such a strange conflation that I think quotes are still justified. I guess that someone thought that "gender hysteria" is just too negative.
Philip Taylor said,
December 19, 2021 @ 8:50 am
Well, searching the web for the "GE" phrase, I find two conflicting definitions (there are undoubtedly more).
1) GENDER EUPHORIA: the experience of feeling great about you, your body, and your gender. It was coined to express a positive and exciting feeling of one's gendered self, which is a concept that is sometimes not talked about as much as our negative experiences.
2) GENDER EUPHORIA: a powerful feeling of happiness experienced as a result of moving away from one's birth-assigned gender.
(1) Is inclusive, and would allow me (born male, still male, no wish to be otherwise) to experience euphoria from my masculinity.
(2) Would restrict feelings of gender euphoria to those who have (deliberately or otherwise) chosen to be other than their birth gender.
No need for me to say which definition I prefer, any more that I need say that I prefer articles in which "black", "white" and "indigenous" are either all leading capitalised or none are.
Jerry Friedman said,
December 19, 2021 @ 10:18 am
Rodger C.: No, not even every Lord of the Rings fan knew that, so thanks.
J. W. Brewer, if you're still reading this: No, you're not the only one.
Jerry Friedman said,
December 19, 2021 @ 10:19 am
Must be more careful with italics.
Terry K. said,
December 20, 2021 @ 10:35 am
@Terpono
Twill puts "Gender euphoria" in quotes because Twill is quoting a phrase used in the article. Seems pretty straight forward to me.
chris said,
December 20, 2021 @ 8:24 pm
If the definitions quoted by Philip Taylor are widely accepted (and I don't know whether or not they are), it seems very likely to me that "gender euphoria" was deliberately coined as an antonym to the preexisting "gender dysphoria".
"Euphoria" does seem to me an oddly strong word for a condition that for most people is the unexamined and unnoticed everyday background of their lives, but maybe that was the point. If you want a fish to really *notice* water, strong measures may be called for.
Quinn C said,
December 23, 2021 @ 12:26 pm
Right on, chris, and good analysis. That's why it's an important term for trans people: it's a feeling that many (though not nearly all) cis people know as part of the background of their existence, while for trans people, it is very noticeable when it finally occurs, when they finally find themselves in the right, the properly oxygenated waters.