None of the words in the expression "woe is me" are especially rare or obsolete, but the syntactic structure and semantic interpretation are definitely archaic. If you learned the expression by listening rather than by reading, you might well go for some alternative way of composing similar-sounding words to arrive at the contextually apparent meaning, like "whoa as me".
That's not much closer to being compositional in contemporary English, but it's certainly no further away either. And at least a few people seem to have taken that route, including one that I noticed in a recent weblog comment.
A few random examples from the web:
Whoa as me , Whoa as me. For the past 4 days I have been constipated.
Stop saying whoa as me, and start saying whoa, I feel sorry for my competition.
Whoa as me…. I hate Monday's!!!!
Tell your whoa-as-me mantra to the innocent children in post 13 who were raped.
My husband and I were just talking about all of the ‘whoa as me’ issues that we’d been through with our son.
Damn-it … complain … moan … whoa as me … all that other stuff.
Whoa as me, the temperature is forecast to go down to 28 degrees between 5am and 7am tomorrow morning.
One instance even made it into print (Kreig V. Wens, Prosecuted Innocence, 2003):
"Why don't you knock off your sniveling, whoa-as-me, little bitch attitude."
"Whoa is me" is in the Eggcorn Database, entered by Chris Waigl in 2005, along with the even more ingenious "woeth me". Mark Peters used it in the title of a (now-defunct?) column on kid's eggcorns. And Arnold Zwicky notes that "the whoas of X" (for X = website hosting, the sales force, deep sea fishing, teaching, travel, a fallen economy, etc. ) are definitely out there.
They both looked at each other, apparently amazed that I didn't begin to mope and go all “woe-as-me” as soon as Katie Harbor entered the conversation.
Each offered his own advice to my woe-as-me email
… he makes a ploy for sympathy in this woe-as-me story, but nothing is more alienating than maudlin self-pity…
There are also some generalizations out there to other persons:
We've had a bit of a rough day today so this all might sound a little woe-as-us
Oh woe as us….How do we stop this?…Its gonna cost money
Not long enough, we reached the end of the line, but whoa as us, we were 7 and the maximum allowed inside the regular taxis were 4.
Oh, whoa as us, conservatives! Why do we continue to stand in the way of the liberals, who are only trying to save us from our moronic selves?
Save the pathetic scapegoating, whoa as us, we can't be good enough BULLSH*T.
He needs to understand that, yes, he's in prison and whoa as him
he told me how sick he was of it all and he just didn't want to live anymore, whoa as him, blah, blah, blah.
BUT alas!! whoa as her!