Language Log to the rescue!
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John McIntyre has once again wandered off into that parodic fantasy land where usage writers and linguists disport themselves as characters in hard-boiled detective fiction. This time, on the occasion of National Grammar Day, it's "Pulp Diction"; the complete serial is here. The climax of the tale comes in installment 4 ("The dark tower"), when Language Log saves the day:
With the thunder of many boots, a battering ram burst open the door. In strode Mark Liberman of Penn at the head of Language Log’s Modal Auxiliary Corps.
The four installments were posted separately, and you can add comments on McIntyre's blog.