Language Log Staff Reduction

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Facing a steep drop in revenue, Language Log plans to cut the pay of all employees by 10 percent and will place some writers on unpaid furloughs. There will also be additional budget adjustments, according to executive offices on the penthouse floor.

The reduced pay for non-union employees, including top executives, will become effective April 1. Several writers have been offered early retirement but at the time of this writing, management has not received responses from any of them. Anonymous sources say that the writers instead demand that the executives return all huge bonuses that they received at the end of the past fiscal year.

When asked what is meant by "additional budget adjustments", one unnamed official said that it probably will mean eliminating spell-checking and proof reading. "Smaller print size and shorter posts may also be considered," he added, "and it is likely that we will start using the language of texting in order to save space. We also may have to eliminate punctuation marks, such as apostrophes."

According to some critics, language has been deteriorating drastically in recent years and it is well-recognized that logs have reached their lowest value in decades.

Language Log takes this opportunity to apologize in advance for any inconveniences that this may bring to its loyal readers.



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