Church sign of the season

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Some previous Christmas-themed posts:

"Talking animals: miracle or curse?", 12/24/2004
"Christmas and 'politically correct(ed)ness'", 12/25/2007
"Mele Kalikimaka!", 12/25/2010
"Watch out for those talking animals tonight", 12/24/2013
"Reindeer talk", 12/24/2013
"Trigger warning: talking animals", 12/24/2015
"The Ghost of Christmas Future Imperfect", 12/21/2016
"Geddadavit?", 12/24/2016



  1. Pflaumbaum said,

    December 26, 2017 @ 7:02 am

    Some of them are on probation – Santa will decide after all the presents are given whether to employ them full-time. They are of course conditional Clauses.

    After Christmas the elves will finally hit the sack, exhausted but happy – in other words embedded content Clauses.

  2. Heidi R. said,

    December 26, 2017 @ 11:24 am

    This joke was in the latest AARP newsletter. But it's nice to see something non-divisive on a church sign these days!

  3. Christopher Henrich said,

    December 26, 2017 @ 10:19 pm

    I hereby award "Pflaumbaum" a Golden Feghoot for supreme excellence i punning.

  4. Victor Mair said,

    December 27, 2017 @ 8:49 am

    I like the inscription at the bottom:


    Gathered by


    A.D. 1638


    I visited this church several times, and was always impressed by the simplicity and holiness of the place.

  5. Anthony said,

    December 28, 2017 @ 3:25 pm

    Santa's kin are relative clauses.

  6. Viseguy said,

    December 28, 2017 @ 10:25 pm

    This post got me searching for what puts the claus(e) in Santa Claus. I'm told, from multiple sources, that it comes from the union of "victory" and "people" (etymology of Nicholas). Ironic, these days, isn't it?

  7. Lane said,

    December 29, 2017 @ 5:52 am

    It's probably an old joke rediscovered many times; in any case, my language-nerd grandfather painted his wooden front-lawn decorations "Santa and His Subordinate Clauses" in the early 80s. He entered the neighborhood Best Christmas Decorations contest, sure he would win for his cleverness; he didn't, and miffed, he never entered the contest again (though he did continue putting the Subordinate Clauses on the lawn each year until his death in 1995).

  8. nick m said,

    December 30, 2017 @ 1:39 pm

    Santa's elves – Alabaster Snowball, who is the only elf at the North Pole with two university degrees (and who is also the Administrator of the "Naughty or Nice List" – so you definitely don't want to get on his wrong side); Pepper Minstrix, the Head of Elf Security (the primary responsibility of this job being of course to look out for the safety of Mr Claus [especially when he's DUI]) … … … – are a bunch of subordinate clauses.

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