On a Chinese site selling paint, pharmaceutical products, paper industry additives and so forth, we find the colorful Chinglish phrase "fuck the empress." Although the "f" word occurs fairly frequently on this site, the exact citation for the sensational "fuck the empress" is the 14th bulleted item about three quarters of the way down on this page: "Spray to inunction the partition slightly treat to fuck the empress to with the Beat to whet."
The entire website is full of such seemingly whimsical, incomprehensible English (comparable to what results when one turns Google Translate loose on a Tang poem). Since there is a corresponding Chinese original, it is relatively easy to figure out the source of each Chinglishism. "Fuck the empress," however, is so easy and obvious that it is not necessary to consult the Chinese equivalent (though I did just to be sure), since its obvious derivation is as follows:
What is written in Chinese is 干后. In Modern Standard Mandarin (MSM), the first character could be pronounced either gān or gàn. The problem arises because 干 is a simplified character that collapses three traditional characters (干, 乾, and 幹)
In the traditional character system, 干 (MSM gān) is a cyclical or calendrical symbol, 乾 (MSM gān) means "dry," and 幹 (MSM gàn) means "to do," but vulgarly also "to fuck." In the simplified character system, 干 means all of these things, and much else beside. I spelled all of this out in great detail in "The Etiology and Elaboration of a Flagrant Mistranslation" and related posts.
As for where "empress" comes from, it is also due to the collapsing of different characters from the traditional system into a single character in the simplified system. Where formerly we had 后 ("empress") and 後 ("after") — both pronounced hòu, now we have just 后, meaning both "empress" and "after."
If the paint website cited above were written in traditional characters, it would have 乾後, not 干后 as it does now in simplified characters, and there would have been no mistake, not even by a dimwitted software program.
This eyebrow-raising locution can be found on other Chinese sites involving spray cans, paints, and so forth. One of the more spectacular occurrences of "fuck the empress," however, is on a label that explains how to care for a wig made in China.
Quoting just a couple of sections from this unhelpful label:
DRYING: The rap drops the water bead, nature cool fuck.
(VHM: A human being must have intervened to change the first liánggān 涼干 [i.e., 涼乾, "cool dry," "dry in the air," "dry without the application of heat"] to just "Drying," since the identical characers are translated as "cool fuck" later in the same line.)
STYLING: It is cool to fuck the empress, and use the steel needle the comb to comb the original hair style.
(VHM: "It is cool to fuck the empress" comes from liánggān hòu 涼干后 [i.e., 涼乾後 ["after cool drying," i.e., after drying without applying heat].)
Conclusion: if China wishes to avoid such embarrassing mistranslations in the future, it simply needs to spend some of its vast foreign reserves to hire experienced human translators. They wouldn't cost nearly as much, say, as building a rail line from Golmud (in Qinghai) to Lhasa (in Tibet) or from Kashgar (in Xinjiang) to Gwadar (a seaport in Pakistan). Considering the poor quality of available software, plus the nature of the simplified character writing system, the machines are bound to come up with such howlers again and again.
[A tip of the hat to Rory Francisco.]