Whatever else may be true about biologists, they generate the best spam. I've somehow managed to get on a mailing list for biological lab equipment — some conference I attended, or some journal I subscribed too — and as a result, I get lots of email like this one, which arrived this morning under the Subject heading "Upgrade your Tissue Culture Lab today":
Whether you want another CO2 incubator, biosafety cabinet, or just a water bath or new stir plate, we have it in stock and ready to ship. Pipettes? We have them. Media shaker? Got that too. We have some amazing discounts to our already low prices, but the offers on this email are only applicable until Feb, 29. 2012.
Or another of today's little BioSpam gems, under the heading "The Smart Way to Master Your Pipetting Applications":
We called our new electronic pipette „The App Master”, because it has a revolutionary concept to support your pipetting applications. An intuitive menu paired with a large color screen make even complex pipetting tasks easy. Take the example of a serial dilution: you quickly set up the advanced mixing mode and then it guides you through aspiration, dispensing and mixing without interruptions and as many times as you want. In combination with our multichannel E4 you will have done your 96 well plate serial dilution in no time.
Compare this to the pathetic attempts to get me to read some virus-laden attachment, like this one received today under the heading "Termination of your CPA license":
We have received a complaint about your alleged involvement in tax return fraudulent activity for one of your employees. According to AICPA Bylaw Subsection 730 your Certified Public Accountant license can be cancelled in case of the occurrence of presenting of a false or fraudulent income tax return on the member's or a client's behalf. Please be notified below and provide your feedback to it within 14 days. The failure to respond within this term will result in withdrawal of your Accountant status.
Or this one, informing me that "You are eligible to receive a tax refund":
After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have estimated that you are eligible to obtain a tax refund of $927. You need to file the tax refund request and give us 3-9 days in order to process it.
The delay of a refund can be caused by many various reasons. E.g., submitting untrue information or not complying with a deadline. To access your tax refund please click here.
Tax Refund Department
Internal Revenue Service
Or the drivel that fills our comments-spam filters here on Language Log (2,124,394 and counting):
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Or moving even further downscale:
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