"Strategic Authenticity Initiative"
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Following up on Tuesday's DP link, today we have Wyatt G. Croog, "Harvard Launches 'Strategic Authenticity Initiative' to Help Students Seems Normal", The Harvard Crimson 4/1/2026:
In an effort to address growing concerns that its students are “deeply unsettling in conversation,” Harvard University announced Monday the launch of the Strategic Authenticity Initiative, a university-wide program designed to help students convincingly simulate being regular people.
The initiative, funded by three grants and one concerned parent, will offer workshops on:
1. Making eye contact without turning it into a networking opportunity
2. Having hobbies that are not a startup
3. Telling a story that does not end up in a LinkedIn article
“Employers told us our students are impressive but vaguely exhausting,” a spokesperson said. “We’re trying to round the edges without compromising the crest.”
Participants will undergo immersive training exercises, including:
1. Attending a party and not mentioning internships or a class
2. Responding “that’s crazy” without pivoting to themselves
3. Asking to get a meal without entering a yearlong diplomatic process
[…]
Meanwhile, Yale University admin dismissed the initiative as “performative,” before hosting a 90-minute discussion on whether authenticity is real.
Readers are invited to add their own examples of similar April Foolish issues. Wikipedia has List of Student Newspapers, but a quick scan of a few of them comes up April Fool-less.
Ken said,
April 2, 2026 @ 9:48 am
It's not an April Fool, but the LinkedIn reference reminded me of translate.kagi.com. Its target languages include "LinkedIn Speak", "Corporate Jargon", "Pirate", and "Gen Z".
English: "I know how to fix things."
LinkedIn: "I possess a proven track record of identifying operational inefficiencies and implementing strategic, high-impact solutions to drive organizational success."
Philip Taylor said,
April 2, 2026 @ 9:57 am
Where "Linked1n" ≡ "CV-speak".
Y said,
April 2, 2026 @ 12:52 pm
Classics majors are exempt, surely.
Or maybe not?
J.W. Brewer said,
April 2, 2026 @ 3:16 pm
I have long loved the antique Doonesbury strip in the post that Y linked to, and I have a hazy and unreliable memory of a conversation maybe 40 years ago in which someone was claiming (in way that must have seemed credible in context?) that the "Herbert" character was recognizably a specific actually-existing classics professor, but alas I have now totally forgotten which one.