Language Log

The top headline in the Business section of BBC News currently reads:

Greece fears batter markets again

Sean Purdy, who sent this one in to Language Log Plaza, writes, "However hard I try to parse this correctly, I cannot suppress the mental image of traders buying and selling the raw materials for Yorkshire pud – and scaring the Greeks in the process."

This Yahoo News headline shocked Bethany M.: "Women, girls rape victims in Haiti quake aftermath", 3/16/2010.

Although recent Language Log posts about crash blossoms have focused primarily on newspaper headlines, this phenomenon is even more important in messages written to warn customers about immanent hazards, where the same readability problems exist, but with heightened significance. For example, this one recently appeared on a Montana gasoline pump dispensing unit.

STATIC ELECTRIC SPARK

EXPLOSION HAZARD

A really good crash blossom slows down even a fast reader who is a professional grammarian with a lot of experience in rapid reprocessing of garden-path ambiguities. And this one (New York Times, March 8; thanks to Helenmary Sheridan) is a really good one, which they might better have rephrased:

Google's Computer Might Betters Translation Tool

Took me a full extra second or two (and that is a long time in sentence processing) to find the main clause verb.

The crash blossom of the day, at least here in the part of Scotland known as the Lothians, must surely be "Number of Lothian patients made ill by drinking rockets", in the Edinburgh Evening News today. Would you drink a rocket? I'm sure you would sensibly say it depends what the ingredients are. You wouldn't just down a rocket if I fixed one for you in the cocktail shaker, would you?

Only slowly, as one ploughs through the article looking for more details of these rocket beverages that have wrecked the health of so many in the Lothians, does it dawn on you that you have made a major mistake in syntactic analysis. Try making rocket the main verb instead.

[Hat tip: sharp-eyed Language Log reader Kenneth MacKenzie.]

The Miami Herald recently ran a story under the headline "Light runners will get temporary reprieve".  Reader RS was baffled. Arguments at the Winter Olympics over bobsled design rules? A problem with proposed weight classes for marathon contestants? The deck explains:

In his latest On Language column, Ben Zimmer examines "Crash Blossoms", and introduces the topic with a literary allusion:

Elizabeth Barrett Browning once gave the poetry of her husband, Robert, a harsh assessment, criticizing his habit of excessively paring down his syntax with opaque results. “You sometimes make a dust, a dark dust,” she wrote him, “by sweeping away your little words.”

From the BBC, as reported by electric halibut here, the headline:

Last Alder Hey hospital child remains buried

which is to be understood not as being about a child continuing to be buried, but as about the remains of a child being buried. The beginning of the story:

The final human remains held by Alder Hey Children's Hospital after the organ retention scandal are to be buried later.

The Liverpool hospital removed organs from dead babies without permission and held them for medical research.

From the cartoon Ham and Wonder (by "lapsed linguist" Joe), an adventure in garden pathing, with a bit of explanation:

Via Wonkette and The Raw Story comes this shocking political headline from the Reuters newswire:

One can only imagine what Stephen Colbert will have to say about this.

Submited by reader DC: John Marzulli, "Infant sealed in concrete by a Brooklyn couple charged with enslaving hooker mom was beaten to death", NY Daily News, 1/15/2010.

Crash blossom of the week: Andrew Morse, "Google fans phone expectations by scheduling Android event", Total Telecom 1/4/2010.

Josh Fruhlinger sends along today's entry in the "crash blossom" sweepstakes, a headline from the BBC News website:

SNP signals debate legal threat

Crash blossoms (as we've discussed here and here) are infelicitously worded headlines that cause confusion due to a garden-path effect. Here we begin with SNP, which British readers at least will recognize as the abbreviation for the Scottish National Party. Then comes signals, which can be a plural noun or a singular present verb; following a noun, most readers would expect it to work as a verb. The third word, debate, can be a singular noun or a plural verb, and if you've parsed the first two words as Noun + Verb, then you'll be inclined to take debate as the direct object of the verb. So far, so good. But then comes legal threat. What to do now?